


Meet the parents (and screw it up)

by oddball



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Humor, M/M, Meet the Family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-22
Updated: 2014-01-22
Packaged: 2018-01-09 15:49:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,807
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1147802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oddball/pseuds/oddball
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's hard meeting your boyfriend's parents anyway. Now imagine if you are a gravure admiring, basketball loving, idiot...it becomes that much harder! And Aomine learns the hard way that meeting the family isn't easy at all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Meet the parents (and screw it up)

**Author's Note:**

> Some places I've referred to Kise as Ryouta where his other family members are involved, to avoid confusion. Hopefully it isnt hard to follow. :)

"Daikicchi, there's no reason for you to be panicking so much" Kise said nearly deviously. However much with fervor Aomine denied being nervous, it was written in bold on his face, far bolder than even _"the only one who can...."_ (which according to Kise was a miracle in itself)

"Easy for you to say Mr. I'm-so-lovable" Aomine grunted. Kise merely chuckled, while also nodding in agreement and picking out the compliment in that sour statement.

"I was nervous too! You're an only child and when you were introducing me you to your parents, you were also coming out! You do realise how much pressure that put on me, didn't it?" Kise said vociferously

"That didn't even matter! You sweet talked my mom into telling me how she wished she had you as a son and not prospective son-in-law! My dad loved your stupid mimicry bit over the dinner table, not to mention the dozen odd times Satsuki came up with random know-your-Ryouta facts, throughout the week and that after dinner the four of you sang mama-mia songs over the karaoke!" Aomine said, in one short breath, somewhat furious and mostly proud of Kise having won over his parents' hearts with much ease. It really wasn't tough actually, for even Aomine had learnt by now, that in a world outside Teiko and the miracles, Kise was really loved. His upbeat nature, his smile, his curiosity, his natural flair with people, were all hits with 'normal' people.

Aomine, not so much himself.

"Now now, Daikicchi. I told you, I've already told them that my boyfriend is coming over. And I'll help you! So just wear your best outfit and come over by 7:30 tonight. Trust me, they'll love you" Kise said, while briskly sneaking in a kiss and walking out of the door.

Aomine would've smiled on a good day, but today he just rampaged about, wondering what to wear, what to say and basically, throwing loud fits of despair. He finally ceded and called reinforcement to help.

"Alright, Ki-chan has two older sisters and two parents" Momoi said pulling out her files.

"Gee, thanks Satsuki for stating the obvious" Aomine growled impatiently.

"Do you want me to help you or not!" Momoi growled back, while Kuroko and Kagami watched.

"Fine! And why the hell did you get these two?" Aomine said, looking at the largely uselessly sitting Seirin light-shadow duo.

"Moral support..." Satsuki blurted

"Yours or mine?" Aomine yelled again.

"Sincerely Aomine-kun, I'm afraid Kise-kun has become more bearable than you over the years" Kuroko said, sipping his to-go shake.

"....Yours or mine?" Aomine yelled, looking at Momoi.

"Coming back to the need of the hour, he has two sisters. Both older. Older sisters love teasing their younger brother and they would have plenty of embarrassing childhood stories of Ki-chan that you just need to laugh at them or add a little bit along to! His mother is into Ikebana..."

"Woah. I'm going to stop you right there. What is Ike...you know" Aomine croaked, tilting his head in confusion.

"It's about flower decoration you idiot! Even I know that!" Kagami bleated

"You know that Kagami-kun, because you were forced into extra Japanese etiquette class for being culturally-daft" Kuroko added.

"One day! just one day I ask for you not to rain on my parade" Kagami whined.

"Anyway, it is indeed the art of flower arrangements. He's sure to have some around the house. Tell his mother how much you like them. Over dinner, talk about the food, say its nice and by then the dinner would have been over. " Momoi finished.

Aomine jerked his head in some sense of appreciation.

"Also, tell the mother how good her son looks and stuff. Moms love that kind of thing" Kagami said sheepishly.

"You seem to be good at this thing. Tetsu, you're in luck" Aomine laughed.

"Then I'm going to ask lady-luck to send some along to you too, for you need it more than me now, to get Kise-kun's family to like you" Kuroko said straight-faced, with Momoi and Kagami in splits.

Aomine just sighed because, however hard to admit it was, Tetsu was right. He pulled out his phone and dialed a number "Midorima, whats my lucky item of the day?"

\--

Aomine felt like kicking himself as he stood outside in a ridiculous pink satin shirt. It couldn't be helped Midorima had said, that was the lucky item for Virgos. Aomine thought they would kick him out at once for wearing such a ludicrous shirt, but then again those were just the voices in his head. He rang the bell and waited patiently for the door crack open. When it did, he was greeted by a female version of his boyfriend- a tall, blonde lady, with golden eyes and a pleasant smile.

"You must be Aomine-kun. Right?" she asked

Aomine nodded sharply, clutching the flowers in his hand harder.

"I'm Naruka. Kise's older sister. The older of the two. Please come in" she said politely.

Aomine shuffled in while still staring at the uncanny resemblance amongst the two siblings. Yes they were siblings and would look similar of course, but this was beyond the simple notion of 'similar'

"Onee-san! Is Ryou's boyfriend here yet? If not who...Oh hello there!" a brunette with long hair and spectacles said as she pushed them to the bridge of her nose and pursed her lips a little.

"Ikeda! don't make him feel uncomfortable" the older blonde scolded.

The younger brunette continued to scan Aomine as he sat, squirming under her observing eye.

"I must say, little Ryou has caught himself a looker! I never thought my little brother would find someone equally good looking" Ikeda teased.

Aomine realised quickly, while the older one looked like his boyfriend, the younger behaved like him. He felt the weight of his spit as he swallowed it.

"Thank you? I guess.." Aomine sputtered.

"Aww! He's a little shy too! how cute. I didn't catch your name..?" she giggled.

"Daiki..Aomine Daiki" he said, thrusting the flowers to her.

"Daiki! Alright Daiki-kun and thanks! but are you sure you want to give them to me and not to my brother?" she said giggling louder this time.

"Ikeda!" a softer voice scolded, from the distant kitchen.

"Alright, alright. Daiki-kun, how about I show you some kid-pictures of Ryouta before he's out. He's been bringing the house down trying to make you something" Ikeda said lurching into the drawer, waiting to embarrass her brother before his beau.

"Sure. And that idiot is cooking?" Aomine said, slightly warming up to her.

Ikeda laughed at his spontaneous reaction as she burst out with a couple of albums. Aomine laughed as she showed him pictures of little Ryouta, posing under a tree, piggy back riding on his older sister and then nearly a host of pictures of him dressed up in girly clothes, with awful make up and tons of him crying while his sisters bullied him into the said clothes and make up.

Aomine laughed loudly as he heard a familiar squeal "No! Onee-san! Why'd you show him those pictures!"

"Come on now Ryou! You loved play-time with me and Onee-san!" Ikeda teased Ryouta as he finally arrived into the living room with his older sister. "You know, whenever we dressed him up in tiny girl-outfits, he would cry for hours! But then after we did his make up and took pictures, he would immediately pose! It's like he likes the bullying, the attention, the dressing and the role playing" Ikeda laughed, as Ryouta embarrassed and Naruka feigned a sigh, while laughing herself.

"He sure does..." Aomine said  before hearing himself aloud and watching Ryouta and both his sisters stare in silence.

Ikeda deviously contained her laughter while Naruka paled a little. Ryouta quickly grabbed Aomine's hand and offered to show him around.

"You're doing fine. Relax and just...don't make bedroom jokes" Ryouta whispered to Aomine.

Aomine slapped Kise's head telling him like his bedroom joke was intentional. Kise laughed a little, much to Aomine's irritance. He shifted his gaze to spot Kise's mother arranging a beautiful large display of flowers and vines in the study. He quickly remembered Momoi's teachings.

"That's a lovely Ikebana arrangement ma'am" Aomine said confidently.

Kise was shocked himself but quickly turned back to his smile before his mother.

"Why thank you. You must be Daiki-kun? Welcome. I hope our son isn't bothering you much. He's a handful my Ryouta" she said softly laughing.

Aomine smiled, as Kise sulked a little, and protested flailing his hands about. Aomine wanted to agree, but was not sure whether to refute or agree, so he chose to wait and watch.

"And since you seem to be knowing about this, why don't you step closer to see the arrangement?" she asked benevolently.

Kise lightly pushed Aomine in her general direction, as he scowled at him. Aomine stood pretending to understand the art, but in actuality he marveled the patient work of Kise's mother and even moved in closer to smell the lovely flowers. He closed his eyes and breathed in the large ostentatious lily, but when he opened his eye, his heart froze and his pupils dilated.

"Kis..e...bee" he muttered.

"Daikicchi, what did you say?" Ryouta said not hearing him well.

Aomine stood frozen, trembling from ear to ear.

"Is something wrong, dear" Kise's mother asked softly.

Aomine raised his finger pointing to something, before he screamed and lurched himself towards Kise, running blind as a bat, knocking down a portion of Kise's mother's creation. Kise's mother gasped in horror as she saw the boy, stuck to her son, over a grave of her beautiful pottery.

"Oh shit! I'm so very sorry ma'am. I'm indeed very sorry but...there's a bee in there!" Aomine yelled in fright.

Kise's mother, formerly a little angry, burst into laughter. She calmly walked towards the arrangement, spotted the bee and lightly hurled it towards the window. The bee buzzed its way out of the Kise-household. His mother, asked them to proceed towards the dining as Aomine felt like a pile of crap, dusting himself back to sense. Ryouta too nervously laughed wondering how Aomine's sudden histrionic would score.

The family seated themselves on the table as Aomine finally noticed a tall older man, dressed to the hilt. Kise's father he realised as he bowed before seating himself. He received a sharp nod in reply. "This is delicious ma'am" Aomine softly said, attempting to break the awkward silence and also to redeem himself after the bee-driven-calamity.

"Isn't it! Ryou made it himself! Toiling for four hours!" Ikeda said dramatically.

"Really? It's great! Actually I'm not surprised. Kise cooks a lot all the time, partly maybe because I eat out of take-aways.." Aomine said laughing, not knowing how this could back-fire.

"So you take pride in trying to domesticate my son?" Kise's father said sternly.

Aomine gasped as the rest casually looked away.

"No sir! In fact his cooking has made me realize my bad habits. Kise is one of the best things that's happened to me. I've even started dressing better!" Aomine said trying to pull out some defense.

"And a pink shirt is the best you could get? Look here boy, I know you like my son, you don't necessarily need to prove you are gay indeed. I'd have believed you anyway" Kise's father said slightly sardonically.

Aomine gave up for the moment. After another spat of silence and a not-so great night yet, Aomine reached out a dish made by Ryouta's mother to fill his mouth, a place where he thought his foot should've been. Only when he put it into his mouth did he feel a sinking feeling- it was goya tempura. Apart from losing and bees, if there was one thing Aomine hated, it was goya

"Do you like it, dear?" Kise's mother asked softly.

Aomine nodded as he forcefully tried to swallow the one thing he detested. But so as to not ruin what little chance he had to impress, he tearfully swallowed it. Kise watched Aomine act weirdly and took a bite into the dish. He immediately realised and subconsciously blurted out

"Mother, Daikicchi doesn't like goya!" he said panicking a tad

"Oh dear! I thought you said he loved it..oh my goodness. I'm so sorry dear" his mother said rushing over "I'm so sorry you had to eat something you don't like, to prevent me from feeling bad"

Aomine gulped it down and burst into a naive smile.

"Are you kidding me? It's okay! I'm fine! It didn't kill me" he said laughing.

The table drew a short gasp and a bead of sweat fell down Ryouta's face.

"Um..so, Daiki-kun, you play alongside Ryouta in the nationals team dont you?" Kise's father asked briskly diverting the attention.

"Yes, sir" Aomine said, having large quantities of water.

"I used to play some basketball back in my days too. How about a one-on-one after dinner?" he asked enthusiastically.

Aomine almost lunged forward to accept the proposition, but Ryouta signaled a light 'no' which Aomine caught

"that would have been great sir, but maybe some other time" he said spontaneously, as Ryouta nodded.

"Why? Are you afraid to lose?" the old man chuckled. "I hope my son gives you enough competition" he continued chuckling some more.

"Of course he does! He's really a bottomless pit in terms of talent! I mean watching him grow as a player from middle school to now, has just been incredible" Aomine said slapping a generous pat on Ryouta's back.

Aomine laughed, hoping the rest would join, but to his dismay, they sat staring at Ryouta in horror. Aomine turned to see what they were glaring at, only to see a purple-faced Ryouta, coughing and gasping for air. That pat had caused him to trip on his steak and the piece lodged itself into his throat.

"Ryou!" Naruka screamed, as Ikeda and his father ran, patting his head from behind. His mother stood aside frightened, as Aomine pushed everyone aside and swept Ryouta off the floor, holding him firmly by the waist.

"Everyone move!" he screamed as he periodically pressed jerkily at his abdomen. Aomine never would have thought he would have to perform a Heimlich maneuver while meeting Kise's parents for the first time. He jerked hard a last time, as the wicked piece of meat came flying out of the pale model's mouth and landed on the carpet. The family pet Maltese ran up and finished the remains of the steak on the floor. Aomine was on the verge of throwing up.

He carefully put Ryouta down and made him drink some water. The family stared at him, while his mother cried in relief and horror. Aomine nervously looked at the crying woman and said "I can almost see where your son gets his looks from, ma'am" throwing in a hail-mary (even the half choked Kise could see the desperation on Aomine's face)

Ikeda quietly tip-toed next to Aomine, who was holding her white-washed brother like a baby and put her hand on his shoulder

"not the best time to use that"

\---    

  _How did it go, Dai-chan?_ Momoi's message said.

_Don't even talk about it_ Aomine replied, after washing and wiping his hands.

He slumped as he walked towards the living room and said a 'thank you for having me here. It was a lovely evening _(not)_ ' with the most fake excitement ever. Everyone in the room smiled courteously, until a voice said

"Wait, dear. I want you to know that we all really liked you. The way you handled yourself despite the...mishaps. You come across so genuine, I found that endearing. Also, your presence of mind, your visible concern and love for Ryouta. The effort you made to impress us. It's not hard to see that this doesn't come naturally to you, but..." (Kise's mother)

"But that you tried for Ryou's sake, makes us really happy. He's lucky to have you" Naruka finished.

"I was tough on you to see what kind of a guy you are, Daiki-kun. And I'm glad my son picked a fine man." Kise's father said

Ikeda smiled along as Ryouta beamed excitedly at the corner of the room, throwing a thumbs-up. Aomine looked supremely puzzled as he stared at the content faces of the Kise-family, not knowing what part of the debacle they didn't see. Maybe it was such a disaster that they found it extremely entertaining! Whatever it was Aomine smiled and bowed deeply in respect and relief.

"So, son...when is the wedding?" Kise's father asked.

A loud 'thud' was heard and the family Maltese, ran to lick the face of a fallen bluenette. Suddenly, playing basketball hanging upside down seemed less stressful for the tanned ace.

 

  

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> hope you'll enjoyed this! Aomine is my favorite basketball idiot and for once I wanted to turn the tables and see him stutter instead of my favorite whiny baby-Kise :P 
> 
> ps. The part about him hating goya is in the character bible.


End file.
